My dog wakes me up and 12:30 and I can’t go back to sleep. I go downstairs to sleep on the couch, while setting the alarm on my phone, I see the date. I realize I am only 8 weeks away from my first show this year. Holly Crap! It’s 2am and I’m at my shop because I’m freaking out about all the things I have to get done in what seemed like a reasonable amount of time. This is what life is about to me. The excitement, the uncertainty, the pressure. I suppose most people would thank that I am crazy for actually loving this. What they don’t realize is that the part of me that most people are drawn to, is this part. It is the sparkle in my eye, the fire in my soul, chasing that carrot on the stick without knowing who the hell is holding that stick. Is it me holding it? or something bigger, something that all of us are a part of but maybe don’t realize it.
I am not hear at 2am because of money, fame, or bragging. I am here for a reason I can’t explain. It’s like being lost in a foggy woods and excited about it. I’m not sure if I am on the verge of insanity or breakthrough. Is there a difference? Perhaps insanity is the burning of the fog as the sun rises, only to show you that the whole time you were walking through the fog in a thick lush forest you never once stepped off the path. All at once you realize you are as much on coarse when you can’t see where you are going as you are with the hot sun lighting your way. Close your eyes people and walk! What are you keeping yourself from? There is something there that is burning, and for whatever reason you are ignoring. Here I am facing the most uncertainty I have faced and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. I challenge you to find that part you have been ignoring and listen, go crazy. Perhaps there, you will find clarity.